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|Sunday, September 20th, 2009|
I just can't help myself
I'll post here once more tonight, then I'll fuck off for the next couple of weeks, or months, or some shit.
I'm a voyeur, okay? I love cam4 so fucking much. Why, I hear nobody ask? I'm having a rhetorical tree-falling-in-the-woods moment here:
because it's a means of gaining a buffered contact with women, that ensures I get off, and I don't have to put up with all the fucking bullshit that goes with women
I'm physically attracted to women, but the mannerisms of nearly all women make me want to strangle small mammals. There, I said it. I've met maybe half a dozen women in my entire life that I could stomach in a social sense, and I probably only would have banged about four of them. The last two, I think their junk might have swallowed me whole.
As soon as a woman starts prattling, whinging, whining, trying to make changes to me as a person, trying to boss me around, making character judgments on me when she doesn't know me, unfairly judges or slags off other people, whether I know them or not, or just generally struts around like her shit doesn't stink..... I'm fucking gone. Don't want a bar of that shit.
Here's the deal - I accept you as you are, and you accept me as I am. Don't like it? Then here's another don't for you:
Don't let the door hit your fat arse on the way out, you disingenuous, two-faced, conniving troll.
|Saturday, September 19th, 2009|
More whining in one night about online people
No-one ever reads this shit, so I don't care. Its value to me is merely therapeutic.
The interesting thing is, I've already pissed and whinged about this online person. I called her a snide, selfish, hairdressing little cuntface from New South Wales, or something along those lines once. Interestingly, she's from Victoria, and I bumped into her again online.
Inequity. This is my pet hatred in every aspect of life. If I offer you a courtesy, then offer it back, or something similar, else I'm going to get the shits, and tell you to go and fuck yourself. You can see why I don't have many friends.... two reasons:
1) People generally aren't reciprocal or decent
2) People don't like being told to go fuck themselves
I'm amused that I went through a recent stage of using the word cunt a lot. Most women find the word offensive, but I contend that I was the offensive one to have used it regards a woman I hadn't met. Needless to say, she wouldn't offer me many of the things I'd offer her, and that pissed me off. I think my words were "don't ever write me again, you rude, disingenuous little fucking child". I've never been subtle, either in person, or online to someone who really tries to shit me up the wall.
Well, for someone who told me to go and fuck myself in return [I liked the fact that she had the balls to say that; in fact, it was a major turnon, but I won't go into that too much] she went a little overboard on the post-we're-not-friends-anymore correspondence, and sent me numerous offline messages, emails and text messages [yes, I'd been stupid enough to give her my phone number]. So after numerous back-and-forths of hurling abuse, I cooled off and was back to my old, reasonable self. She thought, as she did the previous time, that a small handful of cheap compliments was somehow going to appease me into talking to her again. To my great shame, it actually worked.
So, we'd been talking for a little while again, and whilst on the phone, had the audacity to call me a bitch. I said to her that that wasn't going to happen again, and she recoiled faster than a .303 into my shoulder. So, some time after this, she had the audacity to call my mother a bitch. Now, I have a rhetorical question: is it disrespectful to slap a woman in order to defend another woman? Not that I slapped her, having never met her, but fuck it, I would have. People who offend my mother usually bear the brunt of my wrath, since my mother is the most kind, decent, and strong woman I've ever seen. And for a diminutive woman, she's a fucking Mack truck. So the moral of the story was, don't offend my mother, or I'll fucking kick the shit out of you. What did I get? Not even the rarest semblance of a genuine apology out of her.
She's probably not aware that I've even closed my accounts, but I'd imagine she'll figure out something's amiss when she finds out my mobile phone is disconnected. I laughed so merrily when that happened - it wasn't planned, but boy was it perfectly timed.
Adios, Kimmie - it had been a pleasure not meeting you.
Or should I say..... ciao? *s*
Old habits die hard
I used to have an online confidant. I would tell her practically everything about myself and my life, and I guess, for the purposes of buffered social interaction, she was a.... friend.
She was quite enthusiastic towards me initially, but as time drew on, people become less interesting the more we become accustomed to them. Needless to say, she wasn't exactly the most exciting individual I'd ever come into contact with, and I bore most of the duties regarding having something worthwhile to say, and she would dumb it down, and chime in with pointless anecdotes and soforth.
We had numerous disagreements, and she would draw conclusions about things I'd said, or even via pauses in written text, far earlier than I'd even surmised the plot. All in all, a terribly emotionally insecure woman, who always wanted what she never sought to give: loved attention, but divvied it up rather sparsely in return.
Me, I'm a big fan of equity in any interaction. Be it acquaintances, friends, lovers.... it doesn't matter to me. You give what you get, or it isn't a fair and reciprocal relationship; I'm not an unreasonable person. This particular woman sought to remove herself from me, after one too many arguments, and usually they revolved around my frustration at being ignored [which is something I never did to her]. Fancy that: refusing to offer me the same courtesy she received. Hilariously, she would always miraculously return at the precise point that I would become annoyed with her, and never a moment prior, or a moment after. Months of this bullshit went by, and, as I said, she removed herself from me.
Her last correspondence was one of "I wish you all the best" and blah blah I'm walking away from you. That was okay with me, but I sent her a little message telling her that I didn't want to discard her as a friend, and that if she disagreed, she was welcome to simply ignore me to show her intent. In short, I gave her the option, but also let her have the easy way out if she so wished. The latter was taken, and I thought myself aggrieved somewhat considering I'd done her little harm. I trudged off licking my wounds.
I left her to her own devices, and was doing fairly well. A couple of months trotted along, and I was quite enjoying the newfound sense of not having to put up with this prattling bitch, who promised much, delivered little, and got the shit every time I'd feed her the same treatment she'd reserve for me.
And who would send me an add request out of the blue, but the same, boring woman? Snide, fickle and full of pissy little games: desperate to inject some sense of drama into an otherwise arid existence. Thinking myself to be kind, and thoughtful, I accepted, and waited. Quaintly, the only time I've ever received an add request out of the blue was from bots when I'd log into yahoo chat rooms. I have never received an add request from any other source unsolicited. So's I send her an email, asking why she sought to talk to me if she had said not long ago that she did not wish to know me anymore. What followed was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read, save from the will executor of my English Nigerian uncle I have who amusingly denominates my uncle's earnings in a currency not endemic to Africa at all. I get the response:
I don't know what happened. I never sent you any add requests.
In this quaintest of faux-worlds, the cyber world, some vapid, middle-aged lame-brain expected me to believe that an MSN account, the email address I'd sent the mail to, had somehow, of its own accord, typed my email address into an add contact box, hit send, and had waited patiently for my response. Now that's an interesting instant messenger she has. And had the audacity to claim that I told her not to contact me again. Lord have fucking mercy on my poor soul. I'm a magnet for fucking idiots, I swear. Well, they do say opposite poles attract.
How pathetic am I? Well, it's plainly obvious, when your most frustrating episode recently is to do with someone you've never met. Needless to say, it was so liberating to delete my email and messenger accounts, and be rid of her, and the scores of other instant messaging protozoa that nigh incessantly fed on every last scrap of my will to live.
I became wise to a few things in everyday life, too: give others your time in volumes commensurate with the amount of dirt in the world, and people will value your time as dirt. The motto? Fuck you all, you arse-crawling parasites.
|Sunday, August 30th, 2009|
|Saturday, August 15th, 2009|
They promise the world
....only to try and destroy yours.
There has only really been one person throughout my entire life that I've ever been able to rely on at any time:
What this does not amount to is that everyone in the world is untrustworthy. What you have to appreciate is that not many people under the age of 30 are particularly concerned with anything outside the self. I don't think it's by any means exclusive to this generation, more so that it's endemic to young people generally. Suffice to say that not every youngster grows out of it.
This isn't a piss and whine. What it is, is a reminder that trust is to be placed in the self before others.
|Sunday, July 26th, 2009|
I used to know a guy, that I considered a friend - he was a devout Christian, but I could still stomach the prick. What I mean is, I could tolerate him for a time [much like many people] but many of his mannerisms became apparent to me, as selfishly inclined and exclusionary.
One of the things I really used to think was funny about him was, that he would talk about prayer a lot. He would often tell others that he prayed to God for them [myself included]. The implications of what he said were basically this: I believe that by merely thinking something in my head, and closing my eyes with my hands clasped together, that the supreme creator and ruler of the universe will stop what he's doing [presumably opening another packet of Panadeine, to try and rid himself of the prayer junkies in his ear all the time], listen to my request, and consider it genuinely. Despite the fact that there are children who are abused by their parents, wives who are beaten by their husbands, starving children in any number of countries with no clean water to drink either, child prostitutes being controlled, people being trafficked, tortured, genocide, cannibals and rapists all having their daily fun, God is going to focus his attention on me, and my priveliged life, with my unreasonable worries about miniscule things to grant me what I want at every given turn
Seriously, if God intervenes on behalf of people to their favour in driving tests, school exams, minor injuries and life's little ups and downs, rather than sorting out some of the real problems in the world, then fuck God and everybody who looks up to God.
Now, there's two schools of thought that I'm aware of about God - one is, that he's an interventionist who ensures that nothing goes wrong with those that hold him dear in their hearts, and the second is the tough love angle: that somehow, the ruler of the universe is going to let people do whatever the fuck they like in the physical world, because you'll be severely punished once you're dead
. The first point, where interventionism is the belief, is defunct before their argument has already begun. Things go wrong, crimes go unpunished, people get killed, and people screw others out of money, time and anything else they can get from them. So, interventionism is false on the mere observation of life as it's seen.
The second is a little more tricky - Wikipedia defines tough love as: an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love
If I'm to believe that there's a tough love God out there, then how is God letting your uncle arse-fuck you while your mother is out shopping, "helping you in the long run"? Does tough love extend as far as subjecting women and children to the foulest of crimes imaginable, for the sake of teaching people a lesson? Fuck off, seriously. It's always interesting to note that the most degrading and humiliating of acts that people are put through, are usually suffered by the weakest and the most vulnerable. So if God is administering "tough love", then when he's selecting his harsh or stern treatment, he's got some unusual selection bias in his statistical samples.
There is no God.
|Friday, July 17th, 2009|
And now for something completely the same
If you've ever sat down and thought about why people in the world are so self-interested, then you're probably a bit like me: a whiner with too much time on your hands.
Irregardless, [and yes, I used that word on purpose because I really loved the YouTube video "What if chat rooms were real?"] there's something to be said for the way we vote. No, it isn't election time, but I hear that K-Rudd [which is my variant of K-Rool, except with more earwax tasting] is going to call an early election, just so's the Labor Party can have a snowball's chance in hell in presiding over an economic period that actually has growth
. It'll also show if the Labor Party knows any other method than budget deficits; it's as though half the Reimers textbook was used for kindling. In any case, the premise behind voting in our country [which is compulsory, unless you've got a damn good reason: like a life-threatening allergy to graphite pencils, or that you're Taylor Rain's coke dealer, or more plainly, if you're a Jehoviah's Witness [I pray that's how it's spelt; and yes, that's what I claim to be for the purposes of avoiding electoral voting - I wouldn't know the first thing about the faith, but if you start spouting that the Kingdom of Heaven is the ultimate government, and no Earthly gathering should attempt to imitate the reign of our Almighty, they usually fuck right off] is that you have to pick the party that represents the best interests of the nation as a whole: present and future. The inherent problem with this is the notion of self-interest
. You simply cannot take the best interests of the country as a whole, because either a) you don't know them, or b) they're not your
best interests. Never have I met a rich person that voted for a party that claimed it would "alter the tax system to make it more equitable for the less fortunate", save if the party merely used those grounds for the sole purpose of getting the leader a cosy spot in Kirribilli.
Anyways, I started rambling somewhere after the start, but the point is, you can't cut out self-interest, because it's inherent to humans. You'll always have self-interested people, politicians, and the country as a whole. Every time we buy with self-interest, vote with it, drive with it, talk with it, act with it, and palm shit off to other people with it, we just ingrain it a little more into our sweet way of life.
The end and shit.
|Saturday, July 11th, 2009|
They're not generalisations if the sample size is adequate
For all you mathematics enthusiasts out there.
It's deadly serious, folks: no one else gives a shit about you, so you better start giving a shit about you. Otherwise, you'll be by the wayside in a matter of moments. There's a type of person that really despises the prospect of "If you can't beat them, join them". I hated the prospect too, but what you have to realise is that technically, you're not joining them, because they're self-serving cunts, and cannot be joined. What you are doing, which is what should have been written in the bible, is altering the old adage: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Well, isn't that peachy, but have a think about that for a moment - if you treat people kindly, with optimism, and you get shafted, then what happens? You stick to your principles, and you keep going, right? But you get fucked over again, huh. Oh dear, what to do.
So, you invest emotionally in the next project, the next person, and think to yourself over and over again "the next person will be different; the next thing that I show a bit of decency towards will appreciate it". I can safely say that after numerous years of people pledging this, and promising that, that anyone and everyone will tell you anything you want to hear, just to suck a little more time, energy, money and will to live out of you. Anyways, back to altering the old adage: the way of the present, and the way of the future is as follows - do unto others as you have had others do unto you. Best part about this? There's always those pissy, whiny fuckers who say "but the rest of us are good people: why should we get mistreated because of the mis-deeds of a handful?" Hmmmm. Interesting - why should you get mistreated, I hear you ask?
Because you're a bunch of cunts. Current Mood: resolute
|Thursday, July 9th, 2009|
Well, it's plainly obvious that I've done it now....
Here's a hint for all you folks who have online friends: they're not real
I've been talking on and off with a young woman from just up the road from me [which, in Australia, translates to hundreds of kilometres away] and I really detested the experiences. Not only does this person only talk to me when circumstances suit them alone, but also ditches out once they get what they want, which is usually low-grade cyber sex. Who would have thought that women would act selfishly, just like men do? It's hilarious to note how often women bag men for being shallow and crass, but the reality is that women are just as self-serving and petty as the rest of us. What kind of disingenuous cunt goes out of her way to expect something of you, and, when the time comes to reciprocate, to fuck off promptly? I'll tell you who:a fat, snide little hairdressing cuntface from nowheresville in New South Wales.
Every person I've come into contact with on the internet is a self-serving, gutter-crawling cunt.
|Monday, June 1st, 2009|
You know it's odd when you watch One Hour Photo and emotionally connect with Sy. Some days are hard to get through: ten minutes feels like a fucking eternity. Was he creepy? Of course he was, but he meant well. Consequentialism is the focus of our lives. It doesn't matter whether you lie to your family, cheat on your husband, or break promises to your so-called friends. All that matters is that nobody knows, or finds out. 'cause if no-one gets hurt, then there's no foul, right? Hmph, now I want to smoke.
I appreciate honesty. I am a difficult person to be around, and it's plainly obvious, since I'm largely a hermit. I was accosted by the police this evening, whilst walking home, and my pet [well, not mine, but a pet nonetheless] cat is attempting to sleep in my sock drawer. I don't have m[any] friends, and I don't blame people. I am difficult, and I have very high standards of myself and others. Regardless, I do good deeds for other people - I cook for them, and clean up after them, engage them in conversation, listen to their problems, and share aspects of our lives together. Sound like an aged care job? Probably, but I do this for no charge, and don't begrudge the opportunity to talk to decent people.
What I don't appreciate [and the internet is a prime example of this] is the way people treat one another in return. You see, if I give someone my attention, either at their request or by choice, I at least expect them to offer me the same in return. I go to chat rooms alot, and am amazed at how often people you are talking to suddenly go cold, and give no explanation of why. If I was standing somewhere, talking to a person, I wouldn't dare ignore them without a fucking good reason. It's for this reason [and the thousands of examples that I have been a first-hand witness to] that I believe that, given the opportunity, if people had less or no consequence for their disrespectful and rude actions, they would act more and more selfishly than they already do.
Imagine promising to someone that you would make time to talk with them, over and over again, and simply backing out of it at every single turn. Is this the conduct of a friend? Hardly, and it's certainly a tolerant person to allow it to by the wayside without so much as a peep for so long. When people either a) tell you they'd like to talk, or b) tell you they have time and they want to spend it with you, then you'd normally expect them to honour their sentiments. And when they don't, it speaks to their character in one of two ways; liar, or disrespectful person.
Am I anxious, and demanding? Yes. Is it a crime to expect a so-called friend to honour their sentiments? No.
I hope you read this one day, Amanda, and realise how much of a contemptuous person you really are. Once I was disappointed that we don't talk anymore, but now I see that your "friendship" is no grand loss of mine.
|Tuesday, May 19th, 2009|
|Wednesday, February 18th, 2009|
No one cares what your taste in music is - most bands are there for one function, and one function only: to make money out of gullible, impressionable children. That's right - the merchandise, the CD, the concert, the arty fucking conversations about how The Mars Volta compare to Led Zepplin in terms of pioneering.... all of it, pretentious shit peddled by greedy record companies to sap you of your fucking money.
Time signatures, key changes and usage of a Zurna doesn't make the music any good - please fall into a chasm.
|Sunday, December 7th, 2008|
It all falls into place.
Every single thing that I've ever done, ever experienced in my entire life - all makes sense.
|Friday, December 5th, 2008|
|Saturday, November 29th, 2008|
How pathetic are the people of a country when they cause the death of a person in the pursuit of cheap consumer goods
? Not just indirectly, but directly
. Even in the most rational and supposedly thoughtful of all pastimes, shopping - someone gets killed.I wonder how much you value the sanctity
of life when a person's existence is between you and a less expensive popcorn
machine. Is there anything you sick fucks won't do?
I am convinced beyond doubt - people are callous, cruel and selfish individuals. You make me want to puke.
It's called transference. I'm overbearing, in an online sense - in person, usually quite reserved. I bullshitted myself for a long time, thinking that I just meant well. Nah.Normally though, I'm a bit like a wombat. Slow, cumbersome, and difficult to rouse. I'm pretty tired.Oh, by the way - all that stuff about loving said woman for the remainder of my life, even if unrequited... I was bullshitting. She was a drama queen, and an attention seeker - when the drugs and alcohol run out, you usually see the true face of a person - and their saggy appendages.
I'm also not an old man, but I gathered anyone who is bored enough to read this shit already knew that.What the fuck am I talking about? Overbearing people, of course. The kind that like to make problems, just so they feel as though they're alive.Oh, and one more thing for those that are governed by the desire for money and possessions - when you're dead, it won't mean a fucking thing. You'll just be a rotting corpse
in the ground.
Good to know, isn't it.
|Sunday, August 31st, 2008|
Okay, I'm going all philosophical today...
as though you
give a shit *L*
Nick Cave is a smart so-and-so.
I've been trying to work this shit out for ages, and it just doesn't make sense. God intervenes on behalf of people who love Him dearly, so I'm led to believe. The question remains, though, is He selective? How does He know the minds of every person on the planet? If I'm expected to accept omnipotence, then why the fuck do women and children still get murdered, raped and abused? Surely if God can intervene for the good of others, he can intervene to stop an injustice... Am I seriously expected to accept that God can help anybody provided that they need it, but if the person who needs it happens to be a murder victim or an abused child, then they just have to sit on a tack and bear it? If it's God's will, that people who deserve death live, and that people who deserve life die, then I'll happily agree with the Cradle Of Filth t-shirt. George Carlin was right: it doesn't sound like divine planning, it sounds like human
planning. This bullshit about being interventionist and benevolent is a crock of shit.
Actually, it does make sense. It makes perfect sense to brainwash a bunch of nitwits into thinking that there's a reason as to why everything happens a certain way, just to make people feel like there's a benefit to existing...
It's misanthrope Sunday... :)
|Sunday, July 20th, 2008|
Sweet, sweet love...
...something, something, something... nah nah nah nah... nah nah nah nah... nah
So my quavers aren't particularly descriptive; big fucking deal.
Life is about outlook. You've got two choices: let it kick you in the balls and cry about it, or let it kick you in the balls and say thanks afterwards. Masochists and wimps, that's all it is.
I choose to say thanks; fuck the rest of ya. :):):):):):):):)
|Thursday, July 3rd, 2008|
It's what happens when a series of undersexed, anxious, depressed lunatics get broadband access. It's also what happens when the extent of someone's opinion is "your opinion sucks". If you can't conduct yourself in a respectful and respectable manner, then, before logging into your favourite blame forum, attack your electricity mains with a metal-handled axe.
In other news, George Carlin is dead. That's a mortality coffee pot in the morning, I can tell you. I used to think I'd never get old; it's happening. Holy shit: George Carlin is dead. It's a medical examination that turns into a seventy-five degrees celsius water-and-citric-acid enema. I don't think life will get looked at the same ever again.
If dimples are evidence of sex during pregnancy, then I'll never look at Kirk Douglas the same way again...
Sweet, sweet love... how you have kicked me squarely in the scrotum. It's true though: this woman is still magic.
|Wednesday, June 18th, 2008|
I should have never played the game...
... I should have fucked old what's-her-name...
I love George Carlin. A classic philosopher of modern times, and a funny man to boot.
To start off... ouch, my chest.
Secondly, Chopin's Valse
Op.69 No.1: True love.
from Cavalleria Rusticana by Mascagni: ahhhh... my sweet.
Fourth... ouch, my chest.
Doesn't matter? Bullshit. Does matter, and keep trying.