ol_man_river (ol_man_river) wrote in hermit_cave,
ol_man_river
ol_man_river
hermit_cave

Persistence

You know it's odd when you watch One Hour Photo and emotionally connect with Sy. Some days are hard to get through: ten minutes feels like a fucking eternity. Was he creepy? Of course he was, but he meant well. Consequentialism is the focus of our lives. It doesn't matter whether you lie to your family, cheat on your husband, or break promises to your so-called friends. All that matters is that nobody knows, or finds out. 'cause if no-one gets hurt, then there's no foul, right? Hmph, now I want to smoke.

 I appreciate honesty. I am a difficult person to be around, and it's plainly obvious, since I'm largely a hermit. I was accosted by the police this evening, whilst walking home, and my pet [well, not mine, but a pet nonetheless] cat is attempting to sleep in my sock drawer. I don't have m[any] friends, and I don't blame people. I am difficult, and I have very high standards of myself and others. Regardless, I do good deeds for other people - I cook for them, and clean up after them, engage them in conversation, listen to their problems, and share aspects of our lives together. Sound like an aged care job? Probably, but I do this for no charge, and don't begrudge the opportunity to talk to decent people.

 What I don't appreciate [and the internet is a prime example of this] is the way people treat one another in return. You see, if I give someone my attention, either at their request or by choice, I at least expect them to offer me the same in return. I go to chat rooms alot, and am amazed at how often people you are talking to suddenly go cold, and give no explanation of why. If I was standing somewhere, talking to a person, I wouldn't dare ignore them without a fucking good reason. It's for this reason [and the thousands of examples that I have been a first-hand witness to] that I believe that, given the opportunity, if people had less or no consequence for their disrespectful and rude actions, they would act more and more selfishly than they already do.

 Imagine promising to someone that you would make time to talk with them, over and over again, and simply backing out of it at every single turn. Is this the conduct of a friend? Hardly, and it's certainly a tolerant person to allow it to by the wayside without so much as a peep for so long. When people either a) tell you they'd like to talk, or b) tell you they have time and they want to spend it with you, then you'd normally expect them to honour their sentiments. And when they don't, it speaks to their character in one of two ways; liar, or disrespectful person.

 Am I anxious, and demanding? Yes. Is it a crime to expect a so-called friend to honour their sentiments? No.

 I hope you read this one day, Amanda, and realise how much of a contemptuous person you really are. Once I was disappointed that we don't talk anymore, but now I see that your "friendship" is no grand loss of mine.
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